Traveling Trials

I love to travel. I love to explore new places and see the beauty and wonder they hold. For someone like me in a power wheelchair traveling can have some challenges that can be frustrating.

I experienced some of these frustrating experiences while I was on vacation with my boyfriend in Boston. We'd made plans to have dinner and drinks with my Uncle at Cheers and I was excited to learn that they were actually wheelchair accessible...big plus in a historical city like Boston. When we got there I saw a flight of stairs leading to the bar entrance and my heart began to sink, having experienced similar situations where I was told the venue was accessible and upon arrival realizing that they truly are not. My boyfriend went inside to get info on how I could get in. A member of the staff comes out and points out a wheelchair lift that is attached to the stair railing and I start freaking for a whole other set of reasons...reason one, I'm scared of heights, when a short fall results in several broken bones a fall from any height is petrifying...reason two, will the lift hold my 300 lbs chair and if not will it break down half way up the stairs, which again has happened with bus lift. After grilling the staff member about the weight capacity (450 lbs) and working order of the lift I finally agree to get on it and let it lift me up the stairs, eyes sealed shut the whole ride.

So I make it in the bar, we're seated, I order up a strong drink and my Uncle meets us soon after. Everything is going great, the food is good and we're having a blast.

Then the inevitable happens, I need to use the restroom. I ask the waitress if there is an accessible restroom and she says she believes that I should be able to get into the largest stall and she offers to go with me in case I need help, which I thankfully accept knowing how challenging the bathroom situation is in most places. We get to the bathroom and my fears are confirmed, the main bathroom door is way to small for my chair to fit in. After checking with the manager the waitress comes back saying there's a bathroom on the 3rd floor which I should have no trouble fitting in. We hit the elevator button and when it arrives I realize it's one of those old style elevators with a door that opens toward you and a metal gate that closes once your inside the elevator. I also, notice this bumper on the bottom half of the elevator door that gets wider towards the bottom (which I later learned is there for safety reasons so children's hands and feet don't get caught in the gate). Immediately I'm convinced I'm not going to fit in the elevator but the waitress wanted me to try and wanting to at least be able to say I tried I slowly try to squeeze my chair into the tight elevator opening. One side got past the door frame and I thought I was home free, that is until I realized that the opposite side was stuck. After maneuvering around a bit in an attempt to free myself it was apparent I needed help. So the waitress runs to get a male staff member to lift and shift the back of my chair free. The male staff member is able to free me and I make it in the elevator...I should be home free now right...wrong. We get to the 3rd floor and not only does the door to the elevator have the same bumper but it doesn't open nearly as much as the door on the first floor and I can't get any of my chair past the elevator opening. We decide to try the 2nd floor too but discovered the same problem. Once back on the first floor we're informed by the manager that the second elevator didn't have the bumper and therefore was completely accessible (would have been nice if he mentioned that when he sent us upstairs to begin with but oh well). So into the second elevator we go, without a problem, up to the third floor and out of the elevator, and finally to the coveted bathroom. Which was fully accessible :).

Thank god for that waitress who did everything in her power to help me, including staying on the third floor and escorting me back to the table and repeating the whole process again, minus the problems, when I had to go a few hours later.

I wonder sometimes how bars, restaurants, etc get away with being barely accessible. I understand that the bar is an historical landmark and they try to keep it as original as possible but as someone who is deterred from many places for that reason you'd think they'd want to make it as comfortable and accessible for all potential patrons. There has to be a way to accomplish that while maintaining the historical wonder that the landmark holds.

"No, You Stay"

I was waiting for a bus in Boston last week and I propped my legs up on the bench next to my boyfriend. Those of you that know me know that I do this quite often when a chance presents itself both for comfort and to help with circulation in my legs. Sitting in a wheelchair for 8-10 hours a day can be murder on circulation in your legs.

Anyways we're hanging out talking and goofing off when an older woman approaches with a cart. Both of us not wanting to be in the way each offer the space on the bench we are taking up but she says she's fine and so we stay where we are. Maybe 10 to 15 minutes go by and suddenly this woman wants to sit down on the very edge of the bench dangerously close to my legs. I immediately sit myself upright and tell her that she can have the whole spot (both to be polite and I really didn't want her that close to me). As I'm backing away to give her more space to sit down she grabs my left leg firmly (big No No with my condition) and says "No, you stay". My first instinct was to punch her and curse her out for being so rude and ignorant not to mention possibly hurting me but somehow I manage to keep my composure and politely but firmly say "Please let go of my leg". She does and I immediately retreat to the opposite side of my boyfriend and we exchange a silent "What the Hell" look.

I have never had anyone do anything so rude to me before. Sure people touch my arm or pat the top of my head and say "your so cute" or "your such an inspiration, I'll be praying for you" but this one topped the cake. After the shock wore off I felt my leg and flexed my ankle to make sure everything was OK and thankfully other than the emotional scar of feeling violated I was fine.

When I was looking threw our photos later that day I realized that while I was taking a silly pic of my boyfriend looking something up on his phone I happened to get "Leg grabber" as I fondly call her in the background. I debated posting the pic along with this article but felt it would be unethical. While I am still furious over the whole altercation I feel posting her pic would be stooping to her rude careless behavior and I'm not like that...even when I should be. However I can truly say I'll never forget the face of the rudest woman I've ever encountered.